Escape
by Wicked Lovelace
Summary: Ever wanted to escape from your state and find somewhere new? Run way from the past? Didn't think you'd pick up a small blond kid that just checked out of a rehab center did you?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Do Not Own KINGDOM HEARTS OKAY?**

**A/N: So umm…yeah I came up with this idea based on myself and some shit I've been through. Anyway enjoy. I actually enjoy where this is going hopefully you do too.**

**Warning: Suicidal talkish, eating disorder talkish.**

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_**Chapter One: Dusty Fire Cities**_

I stared the coffee cup sitting in front of me at the diner that was open 24/7. What the fuck would I do if places weren't open all night? I finally got out of one part of the desert from hell. Sierra Vista, Arizona. Don't get me wrong it's not a bad place but when you're stuck living your life with no green, and windy days that seem to cause fire to spread even more setting four houses on fire, you decide it time to get the hell out of that town.

I've lived my whole life in that small dusty blazing hot town, working part time in a subway. Eat Fresh right? Hell no it's all processed shit, and frozen soup. I don't get how the chain of them is so damn popular. Guess that's fast food for you. Even the coffee there was pure shit. Seattle's Best my fucking ass. This dirt coffee was ten times better than that shit; I could hardly stomach it without chucking up my stomach lining.

I'd been driving twelve hours with a small pit stop in Las Cruces, New Mexico. I figure my body won't be able to handle much more driving so I was just planning to drive the hour to Greenville, Texas and find a cheap motel to rest in before I continued my long ass journey.

_"You're leaving?" I stared at Xion her black hair blending in with the night sky. "Where are you going to go?"_

"_Just going to go find my place, I figure it out when I get there." I waved her off tossing my bag in the trunk of the car. "Does it really matter anyway?"_

"_I thought…I thought you wanted to stay with me…I mean…you can't leave Axel! You can't! I love you!" I sighed. I can't help I fell out of love with this girl. She's wonderful but…I just didn't find an attraction for her anymore and the bigger the distance, the better off the both of us were. She didn't need me overdosing on pills for the third time in a month, she deserved better than that anyway. _

I pushed the fifth cup of coffee away and laid a five on the table and headed out into the sun. I was going to become nocturnal before this journey was over. Reaching into my pocket I pulled out the mini lime green lighter and a menthol smooth lighting up as I got in my beat up blue ford focus. Turning the ignition I drove until my soul hit the floor and I had to stop, coughing up the eighty bucks for the room. I crashed right onto the stained mattress and sleep over took me.

When I finally woke up around five in the afternoon or evening whatever you feel like calling it I checked out and got right back in my car heading for Chattanooga, Tennessee. Nice small town that hopefully wouldn't be too crowded and hard to find a place to crash. I'd get there around five pm if I didn't run into any traffic; hopefully luck was on my side.

When I arrived at said destination, I stopped at a Walgreens to ask about a cheap place to stay. Walking in I crashed right into a small kid. Well teenager I guess you could say but damn he was short. He had blond spikey hair and sky blue eyes and his glared up at me angry that I got in whatever way he was going. "Sorry about that kid."

"I'm not a damn kid." He lashed at me. Clearly he had some anger issues to work through. He had a small accent and I found it quite adorable now if only he would let that scowl fall off his face.

"Well…shorty." I nodded and walked in going to ask the person at the register. On my way back out I saw said blondie sitting on the curb right outside near my car. I carefully watched him as I made my way to the car parked next to him. He looked up at me suddenly surprised I'm guessing by the way he jumped.

"You're not from around here." He suddenly spoke calmly. I shrugged by his sudden change in attitude.

"How'd you know?" I grinned.

"Your accent isn't from around here."

"Accent? You've gotta be kidding, you're the one with an accent."

He just shrugged and as I opened my door he sputtered out some more words. "Where you going?"

"Somewhere to find my life and start anew. Can't live in a dessert for my whole life." I shook my head hating how it sounded clique.

I could see him hesitating for a while and I finally sighed. "Where are you going?" I asked him.

"Away…" We both stood in awkward silence for a good while and finally I gave up. "Want me to drop you off somewhere?"

He didn't respond for a while right when I was about to give up he spoke. "Are you leaving the state?"

"Yeah…heading to…" I thought for a moment since I hadn't really considered it. "Maryland."

"Home of milk." He told me and I looked at him in awe. He knew the state beverage. It was the only state beverage I had known, seemed like a promising place if milk was the beverage I couldn't live without the shit. What makes my cereal soggy and cold.

"Do you mind…if I tag along?" I stared at him for a minute.

"You're not underage are you? I don't want to be wanted for kidnapping."

"I'm nineteen and don't worry no one will be looking for me." Roxas shook his head.

"Alright get in then." I told him and he did. So we drove to a small motel he told me about and even coughed up some money for the motel. I lay on my own bed and looked over at him curled up on his side. His jacket still on. He looked like he was freezing.

"So…are you a runaway then?" I ask wanting to know what I was getting myself into exactly.

"I wouldn't really call it that." He mumbled.

"What would you call it then?"

"Checking myself out of rehab."

Shit what the hell have I gotten myself into? What kind of rehab was he in? I really hope it wasn't drugs I did not need that shit in my life, I had been in tons of places, letting them probe my brain trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. Just because I was mentally unstable didn't mean I was crazy like those freaks that could only slur there words in the damn place and told me that I would die in the room because there was a black thing on the wall and he insisted on staying up in a chair refusing to move for hours on end. That was hell.

Silence filled the air and I finally gave up and rolled over. I really didn't want to know what the hell he came from. I didn't want to think anymore, my brain was completely fried to shit anyway.

Once morning came around eight I got up feeling dead to the world. I vowed I would get some damn coffee before hitting the highway again. I rolled out of the bed and headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower; once I got out I saw the blondie still hadn't even moved. Damn I didn't even know his name. I walked over to him and shook his shoulder. He mumbled but continued to sleep.

"Come on sunshine, rise and shine." I said sweetly. He finally peeled open his eyes and glared at me. "We gotta hit the road now." I told him. I wanted to hit Asheville in three hours and crash at a friend's place I met on a blog. He offered me to spend a few days there and I was sick of driving. These three hours were going to be killer. I grabbed my small bag I carried in and waited for him to grab the small duffel bag he had. "What's your name anyway?" I asked him. Next time I pick up someone the curb I'm defiantly asking their name first.

"Roxas. You?"

Odd name but I shrugged mine was no different. "Axel."

"How far are you driving today?" he asked as we made the way to my crappy car. I hated this damn bastard. I pushed the back window up with my hand. It had a damn habit of sliding down and it was fucking annoying especially in this cold weather.

He looked at me funny. "Fucker hates me." I told him. "Going to Asheville, gonna crash at a friend's house for a day or two. I've been driving for fucking ever."

"I could always drive."

"Like I'd trust some kid I picked up on the road that I have no background information." He got in the car just as I did and I started driving the three hours stopping at a Starbucks for coffee. Roxas got himself pure black coffee. Weird kid. You go to a fancy coffee place and you leave with black coffee. I sipped my latte steering with my knees.

"My parents forced me to go into rehab for an eating disorder." Roxas spoke after an hour of silence. Radio was busted. "I discharged myself after a month of being there, its pure fucking hell. I'm nineteen so they couldn't stop me. I told my parents to fuck off before I left."

"And you sat outside a Walgreens waiting to find a promising ride." I finished for him. He just nodded.

"And you? What's your story?"

"I won't have to worry about you passing out or anything of that sort will I?" I asked avoiding the question.

"I eat alright? Drop it." He hissed and stared out the window. I finally caved.

"I needed to get out of that shit town and away from…someone. Plus I got tired of the dusty fire city. Fire just pop up everywhere you turn and dirt gets in your ears. Annoying as fuck." I told him.

"This someone being an ex-lover?" I just nodded. All went quiet again. I really hated the silence. I lit up a cigarette and dreaded the next two hours.

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**A/N: Drop a review or something maybe?**


	2. You Have Your Pain I Have Mine

**Disclaimer: I do not own kingdom hearts nope never.**

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_**Chapter Two: You Have Your Pain I Have Mine**_

I cut the car off and looked over at Roxas. He was still asleep. He slept for the last two hours of the ride. I got out of the car and knocked on the door, I'd come back for Roxas once I talked to the guy. The door opened and I saw him, with his blond Mohawk and baby blue eyes. "Axel?" he questioned. "It's great to finally actually see you in person!" he told me excited and kept chattering.

"So it's going to be okay if I crash here for a day or two right?" I ask him.

"Of course!"

"I have a small problem though…I kinda picked up a stray on the road…his name is Roxas, is it okay for him to stay as well?" Demyx looked past me and towards the car seeing the sleeping form of Roxas in the seat.

"How old is he?"

"Nineteen…I met him in Tennessee." I inform him.

"Yeah its fine but I only have one spare bedroom so I guess you guys can share if that's okay?"

"As long as I have a bed I don't care." I waved him off. "I'll go wake him up and grab my bag. Thanks so much Demyx." Walking towards the car I pulled out one of my bags first and then opened the door and shook Roxas' arm. His eyes fluttered open and he looked straight into my eyes. I couldn't help but to stare, it was like I was falling into those blue eyes of his.

"Where are we?" he breaks the stare and looks at the small house.

"My friends place in Asheville, we're gonna crash here for a day or two. That okay?" Roxas looked hesitant but he finally nodded and got out grabbing his one and only bag. We made our way inside with Demyx showing us around and to our small room.

I watched as Roxas went straight to the bed curling up in a ball and closing his eyes. Is that all he does? Sleep? Not that sleeping isn't a good thing but damn…how much could one person sleep? I shook my head and left the room to go take up Demyx's offer to watch some movies. His roommate mentioned he was going out and would bring back some Chinese food.

"So where's Roxas?" Demyx asked me halfway through the second movie.

"Sleeping is my guess." I shrugged.

Demyx thinks for a moment. "What made you decide to give him a lift anyway?" I didn't say anything thinking about it for myself. I really had no idea. I liked his eyes…even if he had some anger issues and was really quiet I kind of liked his company. It just felt normal to me. We continued to burn our eyes and fry our brains on the zombie movie that was playing.

I walked into the room I was sharing with Roxas and he was sitting up in bed now writing something in a notebook. I was quite curious and tried to read over his shoulder but before I got the first sentence he snapped shut. "Can I help you?" he peered at me through the corner of his eyes.

"Zexion brought some Chinese food for dinner, we're gonna eat and watch TV and play some games, come get something to eat." I instructed him and left the room. It took him ten minutes to finally make it in the kitchen. Demyx and Zexion were already in the living room. I decided to wait for him to appear so I could hand him the food.

He took the small white carton from me and sat down on a stool at the bar. I watched him as he twirled noodles on his fork wondering how long it would take him to actually take the first damn bite. "Did you want to watch TV with us?" I asked him walking to the door.

"I'm good." I heard his response quiet and I left.

A good hour passed and I wanted to hit the sack so I went to the kitchen to drop my empty carton off. I saw that the carton that Roxas was eating was still half full. I just shook my head and headed to the bedroom finding him lying there in the dark staring at the ceiling. "Not hungry?" I asked him casually before laying on my back beside him a good four inches between us.

He didn't say anything and finally turned over his back facing me. I rolled my eyes. "So what's so bad about your life that you wound up here with me?" I finally ask him knowing he's not asleep.

"Why should I tell you?" He grumbled.

"It's easier to talk to a complete stranger." I told him because honestly it was. I could pour my soul out to a stranger and walk away like it never happened. Mostly because you probably would never even see them again. We both were silent and I watched him finally roll over to face me.

"My parents gave me up to my grandparents when I was little, they didn't want to take care of me. When I turned eight they suddenly wanted me back. They winded up divorcing my dad leaving me with my mom. She abused me…as I got older the only way I seemed to escape the hell I was living in was not eating. Until it got me hospitalized…after that she and her new husband watched me at every meal. I gained weight…became huge but it still wasn't enough so my doctor referred me to Focus…an eating disorder place. I ran from it as you can tell. I don't want to live there anymore. I want to just go, go far away. Write…something like that." Roxas told me all of this very slowly and he even had tears in his eyes as he told me the story.

"It'll…it'll work out for you. Just watch." I told him trying to be comforting but knowing very well I sucked at that kind of thing. "You just gotta take care of yourself now…eat…you know…" Especially since he hardly touched his dinner. "You didn't really eat dinner."

"So?" he shrugged looking back at the ceiling.

"Well…you should try to eat more…stay alive. There's something out there worth living for." I felt like the world's biggest hypocrite and I sighed blocking out the mental images of the hospital bed I was in for the third time from overdosing.

"T-thanks…" I heard him stutter obviously not expecting my concern. Why was I concerned for him anyway? I've only known him for twenty four hours now in counting. We both laid there trying to sleep, failing miserably. Roxas slept too much and I just never could sleep when I needed to.

"What about you?" he asked trying to fill the unbearable silence. I rolled off the bed slipping my shoes on.

"I'll tell you about it while I smoke." I told him and to my surprise he actually got out of bed and followed me out of the silent house.

I don't know how long we walked in silence, enough for me to smoke seven cigarettes back to back. We were in the downtown part, everything dead since it happened to be one in the morning. A few bars were opened and were very tempting right now honestly. I hated talking about myself. It meant remembering what I never wanted to remember.

"Ever since I was a kid the doctors have been trying to diagnose me with some form a depression. I've been on so many different pills. As I teenager I got into drugs and alcohol, took me two years to clean up my act. My friend Xion helped me out a lot. I winded up kinda dating her. My mom kicked me out when I turned seventeen. So we got a small place together. Things started getting hard and I winded up attempting suicide three times in one month. The last time I came out of the hospital I moved out and stayed with a friend, Riku. Xion got another roommate and tried to talk to me but…I avoided her. I couldn't stand living in that town anymore. I couldn't screw her up any more than I had. She suffers from manic depression. It started after my first attempt. I screwed her up mentally. So I left."

I guess my story wasn't too bad but everyone has their own form of pain they can't handle. Roxas is quiet and I wonder if he thinks I'm some sort of freak, not that I'm denying that I am but you know.

"Don't kill yourself." He finally tells me. "Like you said…I'm sure there's something out there for you." I just nod and we start heading back as I light up another cigarette. I watch him walk out of the corner of my eye, taking him in. He really is beautiful…I wonder if he doesn't see it himself.

"You're beautiful you know." I tell him. He looked at me eyes bulging.

"W-What?"

"Calm down…I'm just saying…you're really good looking…and cute." I shrug and walk ahead of him a little. I hear him following behind me slowly. Wonder if that freaked him out too much? Ha.

Roxas tries to open the door but realizes we locked ourselves out. I couldn't help but laugh, how stupid were we to lock ourselves out of the damn house Demyx was letting us crash at. I sat down on the porch steps and Roxas groaned sitting down beside me.

"Can't be that bad being stuck outside with me." I poked his arm. I watched as he rolled his eyes. Looking up at the sky you could see a few stars even though the pollution made it difficult. Gotta love cities. "So you like to write or something?"

Roxas shrugged. "I've always wrote…I want to get something published one day you know?" I found the small sliver of the moon and pointed it out to him. He just smiled lightly. "What about you? What do you like to do?"

I thought about this for a minute. What did I enjoy doing? "Exploring…I like to see different places. I like having a change of scenery other than that…I really don't know. I worked for a good while at a video store, saved up and that's how I'm here."

I lay back on the porch looking up and feeling myself start to drift off. I think I could feel Roxas lying down beside me as well. When I open my eyes again I'm assaulted with the sun peering in my eyes trying to obviously burn them out. I turned my head trying to block the light. Roxas was curled up to my side asleep. I let a smile form on my mouth and slowly stood up and started knocking on the door having no idea what time it was. Finally Demyx opens the door for me.

"What the hell?" he grumbles.

"We kinda locked ourselves out last night." I inform him and Roxas is sitting up now fully awake.

"What kind of idiot are you?" Demyx laughed and I kicked him in the shin.

Around noon I decided to go lay down on the bed and my phone rang instantly. I answered it without looking, a habit I really need to break. "Hello?"

"Axel." I hear the soft quiet voice of Xion filling the phone. I don't say anything. "How are you?" she sounds upset.

"Tired…just driving…you know. Resting right now." I don't really know what to tell her, knowing her if I tell her where I was she'd get in a car and come and find me, she could be impulsive like that especially in her manic phase.

"Are you going to come back here anytime?" she asks me. I sigh and roll on my side closing my eyes.

"I don't plan on it no…"

"Everything can be different you know? We could—

"Xion no…look…I just don't feel the same anymore…"

Roxas walks in the room saying something to me about Demyx yelling for him and I cover the phone. "Who was that?" Xion asks me. I wave my hand at Roxas telling him to shut up. He glares at me and slams the door leaving.

"Just Roxas…"

"Roxas?" I can tell she's thinking. "Are you together with him?" her voice cracks and I can imagine her blue eyes pouring small rivers.

"No I'm just giving him a ride."

"Axel please…come back!" she cries into the phone now. "I love you! I loved you first!" she's reached one of her phases and I know there's nothing I'm going to be able to say to calm her down.

"Xion just calm down okay? I'm going to let you go and gather yourself…you shouldn't talk when you're like this…why don't you go hang out with Riku and Namine?" I hear the line go dead meaning she was pissed now. I sigh and toss my phone to the floor.

The door opens a few minutes later. "Can I speak now?" Roxas asks ice in his voice.

"Sorry…I was just talking to Xion…she would freak if she heard you." He looks at me giving me a weird look. "She doesn't want me to fall in love with anyone else." I tell him.

"Why you're not with her anymore?" he sits down on the bed.

"She still loves me and hopes that I'll come back I guess…I don't know I don't understand the whole love scene." I roll over and my head rests against his knees.

"Who would you fall in love with anyway?" he laughs at me now.

"Well for your information Roxy I've been with guys before."

He scowls. "Don't call me that." At least he didn't seem bothered by my sexuality. I just looked up at him and watched him speak to me not really listening, I liked how his lips moved, and they looked so soft and tender. Reaching my hand up I cupped his face gently and he froze.

"Did you hear anything I said?" he finally asks not moving from my touch. "Demyx wants to take us out to see downtown and the shops; he says there's tons of stuff you would enjoy."

"When are we going?" I ask letting my hand drop.

"You're leaving whenever you're ready."

"You're not going?" He shakes his head.

"I'll stay here." I frown and grab his wrist and pull him up with me.

"You're going, its time you had some fun and smiled for once, and I haven't really seen a real smile from you since I met you. You always have a scowl on your face." Just as I said that he had a small scowl on his face and I laughed. "My point." I poked his cheek. "Come on." He followed me or well was forced to as I dragged him by the arm out of the room. This kid needed sunlight anyway, he was albino white almost, and it almost blinded me to look at him in the sunlight.

"You ready?" Demyx asks seeing me.

"Ready as I can ever hope to be." I tell him.

"They have really nice shops, lots of artsy stuff here!" Demyx tells me excited and I hold back a laugh as he acts like a three year old waving his arms around explaining the city to me.

"Zip your lips and lets go dumbass." I tell him. He sticks his tongue out at me and walks out of the door and I follow making sure that Roxas is right behind me. Was I attracted to this kid? That small scene on the bed fills my head and I shake it trying to clear the images away. No way I've hardly spoken to the emo kid.

In the city we all walk around and Roxas actually seems to enjoy it, the shops have ton of stuff he enjoys I learned. He's into the whole art scene, I guess since he writes I should have expected it. I peer at him over a shelf as he's fingering a small journal and flipping the pages to see the detail in it. He finally picks it up and starts his way to the checkout line.

"Hey now Roxas, you didn't want to come remember?" I ask him stopping him. "Why are you getting something hm?" I smirk.

"Oh shut up." Roxas shoves me out of his way.

"What are you going to write in it?" I ask him following behind him now.

"How about…a journey with a lanky red haired guy that's a complete moron." I laugh at him.

"Don't forget to add my nicotine addiction!"

"Yes, he lives off of cancer sticks to slowly kill himself even though I told him to live, because like he said there's something to live for." I cross my arms over my chest frowning.

"They help me stay calm."

"And turn your lungs to ash."

"You never said you had a problem before." I was actually pouting with shocked me.

"Unlike you I can smell the cigarettes on MY clothes because I happen to be stuck with you here. Trapped by your side dying from second hand smoke. When I have my funeral make sure to cremate me, it would fit perfectly."

"You're so morbid Roxas."

He just laughed a little and I looked at him in shock, he actually laughed…and it sounded real. I liked this side of Roxas better than his quiet depressed ass. I slung my arm over his shoulder. "Come on lets go meet up with Demyx at that restaurant!" I pulled him along.

"Axel stop!" he whined but I just continued to drag him down the street smiling to myself, the memories of Xion leaving my head and for once everything just felt…right.

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**A/N: and that people is the second chapter. for some reason I had trouble with this chapter...I debated writing from Roxas' view starting when he met Axel and what not but he wouldn't work well with me, most likely though the next chapter is going to start with Roxas' view and you'll be able to actually see inside his head since he's so...ugh lol anyway I hope you enjoyed it. It's longer than the first. ^^ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own kingdom hearts.**

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_**Chapter Three: Writing Songs On Your Heart**_

"You're not leaving there Roxas!" I heard my mom shout on the phone to me. They lived two hours away so they wouldn't make it here to stop me anyway.

"I've already checked out. Don't worry you won't have to deal with me anymore alright? You can stop wasting your money on me." I hung the phone up and walked out of the phone booth and looked down the road. Where the hell could I even go?

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Don't even ask how the hell I winded up getting into a car with some random guy but I did. In front of Walgreens. There was just something that put me at ease with him. I didn't mind it one bit. I gave him motel information outside out of the town and we crashed. I laid on the bed pretending to be asleep. I never could actually sleep at night and when I did I wouldn't wake for hours. Everything was better when you were asleep.

Everything in my life seemed like this great big haze from leaving Focus to getting in the motel with Axel. I didn't even learn his name till morning. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to actually know this guy which really scared me. I never wanted to know anyone in my life. That's why I slept, so I wouldn't fall to my own demise of learning to know someone again. It's hard to open your heart when its frozen over in hell.

I wanted escape and Axel was the person to give it to me. Whenever we finally got to Maryland I wondered what I would do, just get out of the car and walk on and pretend I never even knew him? Carry on with my life? These thoughts plagued me all damn day, even while I slept. I winded up caving and spilling my life story out to him. It all seemed like such a stupid reason to develop an eating disorder.

I've been fighting this monster inside for so long, and if I ate again I was scared of who I would become. When I walked downtown with Axel at night it was really soothing. I almost felt like I had found my place where I belonged. Beside Axel. Beside Axel I could write, I would see things I've never seen before and even develop new ideas for stories.

I really liked writing everything out. When Axel told me that night I was beautiful it terrified me. What the hell was he even looking at? And then telling me to shut up while he was on the phone was like pure rejection. I couldn't stay away though. I listened at the door at his conversation on the phone with Xion. When I heard the phone hit the floor I waited for a few more minutes before I decided to walk in.

For once I talked, I babbled on to Axel but I don't think he was listening. I was telling him about this story I was coming up with and I don't know why. I've known him a little over a day; I guess I just needed to get it out. When his hand touched my cheek it felt like electricity and I froze. I almost wanted to kiss him right there but I kept on talking keeping that thought far away. Because no way someone like Axel would even think of that with someone as broken and fucked up as me. Hell I just purged my breakfast that Demyx gave in the shower. I probably smelled like cat piss.

After we got in after the day in town I went outside for a walk. Axel pestered me about coming along but I told him no and finally he got the idea to stay the hell away after we had a small spat. I searched for a pay phone booth and finally found one. I grabbed the phone book and started flipping through it looking for numbers in Maryland. I don't know what had come over me but I knew I had to figure out somewhere to go when I got there. I couldn't stay around with Axel. It wasn't right. As you probably guessed looking in a phone book of Asheville was really pointless and it didn't dawn on my hazy mind until after thirty minutes of flipping through it. I was such a fucking idiot. I never can think, never. It's because my brain is starved.

I finally toss the book beside me and just sit there. I would find a job…maybe I could write a column in the newspaper…find somewhere cheap to stay…as long as I got away from Axel. I don't know why at this point I was determined to get away from him. Maybe because he made me feel emotions I haven't felt in so long and it shook me to the brittle bones I had.

We would probably leave tomorrow and half a day on the road we would be in the land of milk. I wonder what Axel was thinking about when we finally got there. Did he care to toss me aside like the stranger I am? I put my hand on my chest. It really hurt to think about just walking away from him and never looking back. But that's exactly what I did.

Axel talked to me almost the whole car ride to Maryland. We I saw the sign welcome to Maryland it felt like I just lost my stomach. I told Axel to pull over. "What's up?" he questioned looking at my pale face he slowly did. I opened the door and stood on the side of the road at the start of the town. I grabbed my back and he caught my wrist. "This is it then?" I didn't say anything just stared into his green eyes. So bright and mesmerizing.

Before I got even register what happened I felt Axel's lips pressed to mine and then he shoved me back. I shut the door and he drove off. I stared after him and the beat up focus car. I don't know how long I stood there. Long enough though that's all. Finally I got my feet to start walking and I just walked. That's all I did. I tried my best to learn the area and wound up in the back of ally. It looked like someone's hangout spot.

"Hey!" and that's where my new life in Maryland began. I turned and met a brown haired girl with deep green eyes that resembled Axel's. She started talking to me asking me questions. I don't think I answered half of them. Just telling her I hitched a ride here to get away, start anew. She offered for me to crash at her place with two of her friends. I guess people really don't care about inviting strangers into their life. Axel…now Olette. I couldn't stop thinking about Axel wondering what he was going to do. If he was going to find somewhere to stay, work, find someone to love…it made me fall into depression just thinking about it.

I winded up living in Olette's apartment. I shared a room with a guy named Hayner who was all into music and shit. I'd have to find a job Olette informed me on my forth day and I told her I planned to. I wanted to work and write. Maybe this place was what I needed to get a start on my book. I still wasn't eating much and Olette noticed right off the bat. She was always watching me carefully trying to make sure I was getting enough.

I don't think she was fond of the idea I might possibly starve myself to death here. She asked who gave me a right and I told her some guy. She asked how long I'd known him. Four days. She wanted to know if I planned on seeing him again. I didn't. He let me walk out of that car. Even if he had gave me a kiss it was more of a goodbye forever kind of deal.

When I finally landed a job in a bookstore I saw him. Just a glimpse. He was walking past the store walking beside an auburn haired girl with blue eyes. They were laughing and what not. Instantly I felt jealous. After that, everything went to shit. I always slept when I wasn't working. I wouldn't eat. I wanted to talk to him but I didn't know how I possibly could. It was just a lucky chance that I even saw him. How would I even expect to find him anyway?

Something just clicked with him and I wanted it back even if I was the one to walk even, even though Axel let me. I felt completely rejected. That's when Hayner started begging me to write lyrics for songs for his band. And believe it or not I did. I wrote and wrote trashing most of them but finally I came up with a song and he put music to it. One of his other friends played the drums and Pence the other roommate played bass. He wanted me to sing. I plain out refused.

It wasn't until Olette did some really tough convincing did I finally give it a shot. That's something I never knew about myself. I could actually sing. We practiced a lot and finally Hayner got an open mic slot for us to play at some place. I didn't want to do it but I was dragged into it anyway. Maybe somehow I would see Axel. Just maybe.

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**A/N: well um….this is how writing from Roxas turned out to be. Different from Axel but they're both different people on how they talk about it. Roxas' is shorter I know I'm sorry. Next chapter you'll get better details from Axel because he's that type of person in my head. This is just Roxas bullshit anyway. Hope you liked it somehow or another….please? lol**


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